Turning Japanese

I'm beginning to think that I should have been born Japanese. Their ritualistic culture and traditional foods appeal to me in a way that my own American roots just can't compare to. I'm all for American freedom and support the troops and all that rot, but I really think that being Japanese would suit me. Of course, any attempt to conform to Japanese culture I do now would be seen as foolish, so I will pine from afar... (Pining happens to be something I'm really good at)

It all started with James calling me into his office. This was not in any way unusual. James typically called me into his office at least once a week 'to talk'. What was unusual, was that when I arrived, there were already several people in the office with him. There were two human males, and a female dwarf, and all of them looked directly at me when I entered with a loud, "Oy! James! You need to get laid so you'll stop bothering me all the time!" That was slightly embarrassing, but nothing compared to some of the things that had occurred in my youth.

"Comments about my sexual relations aside, Rina, allow me to introduce your new traveling companions."

"What in High Heavens? Traveling companions! What are you on James?"

"Nicre's been at it again."

"So? Why does that matter to me? Or even to the Order for that matter?"

"Rina, you're the only one who's been able to defeat him so far, so reasonably, you can do it again." I looked over to where the smaller of the humans and the dwarf were standing.

"Then why do these clowns need to come along? I can do it alone."

"Think of them as... insurance. We don't want you coming back in the same state you did last time."

"Excuse me, but I'm offended by being referred to as 'Insurance'." The dwarf was looking rather grumpy, but not quite as 'offended' as her words lead one to believe. Ever the polite one, James was quick to assure her.

"You're not JUST going as 'insurance', I assure you. Part of your journey will take you through the Kogen Forest, and no matter how skilled Healer Rina is, she's no match for the beasts there."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, James." I quipped.

"Either way," The smaller human said. "I think we'll all benefit from each other's company."

"Well put, Sir Knocks." James smiled at him, and I wondered if my earlier comment wasn't too far from the mark.

"Hey," The larger (and far more muscular) of the two humans spoke up. "Before we get into braiding each other's hair and talking about who we fancy, can we at least know all of our names?"

"Certainly." James said, unusually flustered. "The gifted healer among us is Rina Lostchild. This slim young man to my left is Sir John Knocks, the burly giant to my left is Leonard Stone, and this charming dwarven lady is Wylma Bluestone. Now that you are all met, you can begin your journey tomorrow at sunrise."

There was some hemming and hawing, but slowly the others began filing out. I stayed in James' office, outlasting even Sir Knocks (who obviously wanted to say something to James). When they were all gone, I went over, closed the door, then turned sharply to James.

"What. The. Hell."

"Rina, what ever do you mean by that?"

"You know bloody well what I mean. Why are you doing this to me?"

"I'm not doing anything to you! The High Priest demanded that you be in this party!"

"Is that so? And why is the High Priest of the Order of Illumination so interested in this case?"

James mumbled something.

"I'm sorry, what was that?"

"He's burning down the forests of Peace."

"Who is? The high priest?"

"No. Nicre. No other religious sect cares about the forest anymore, so no one else is doing anything about. The High Priest feels the pain of the trees however, so he NEEDS someone to stop Nicre."

"I see." I sighed. "Very well. I'll go on this 'quest'. You had better hope that I make it back in one piece though."

"I always do."